


Changes..

by Potato_Soop_Leo



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Hetalia, Hetalia angst, Human AU, Hungary x Prussia - Freeform, aph Hetalia - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26455585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_Soop_Leo/pseuds/Potato_Soop_Leo
Summary: A two chapter Point of View fic about Gilbert Beilschmidt and Elizabeta Hedervary. It’s amazing to think of what can happen in just one night..
Relationships: Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Changes..

_”Wake up!”_ There’s a voice, screaming in my head. _”Please! Just wake up! Stop messing around!”_ Crying and begging. The voice is loud and heavily sad, and I feel a hand on my cheek, almost like a ghost Is holding onto me. It’s often that I have this sort of feeling, making my heart ache. And I can see a clear face in my head. Long caramel brown hair, large lime green eyes filled to the brim with tears, lightly tanned skin, and a wound on their forehead, bleeding out and running down the face and dripping off her chin. _”Eliza…”_ But then my eyes open, and she’s gone again. And I can’t feel the sharp pains in my chest quite as badly anymore. There’s still an aching, and I reached up and out a hand over a large scar in the shape of a cross. Not an x, a plus. It symbolized the fall of my honor. I’m reminded of an old friend each time I see it, reminded of what she did for me, how her brain had once worked in my favour. But then.. she had changed. She figured out everything. _”You stupid pervert!”_ She realized what our relationship would end up being if she stayed, though I had never felt that way towards her. _”Hey stupid, my eyes are up here!”_ And then, she disappeared. She never told me where she was going, but I found out later on that she had married a man and moved away. She left me alone, without anybody to talk to. Eventually I fell ill and was forced to move in with my younger brother, so that I could “die peacefully” as he would say. But it’s been ten years since I last saw her face, I haven’t even got pictures of her. What if she’s happy without me? Has a perfect life, a nice warm home, and she never wants to see me again? That’s probably exactly what’s happened. My brother goes down to visit sometimes, to work out business things with the man that she married, and he always asks if I’d like to know how my old friend is doing. But I refuse to know each time. I don’t want to see her again, she left without saying goodbye and hasn't bothered to get back into contact with me since. I miss her, and I wish that she hadn’t left in such a hurry. 

Lying here in my bed, I noticed that the clock by my bed said much later of a time than I thought it would be. I have another stupid doctors appointment, so that I can be checked out, poked and stabbed with needles. Take my blood, run the tests, tell me that I’m “getting so much better!” But I know all of it’s a lie. I always feel so horrible. And I know what’s wrong with me. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. For simpletons, COPD. Not caused by smoking, but toxic fumes and chemicals, from the job I used to work in. I worked to get coal down in a mine. And before you say that they don’t have people do that anymore, I stopped working five years ago. And they still make people do it. I live in Germany, Bavaria to be exact. It’s a lovely city, though I wish to live in the capital instead. But here I am. Living with my brother like an old guy does when he’s old. I’m not that old, seriously. I’m just hitting my mid thirties. Ok maybe I’m old. But does that really even matter all too much? I’m an old guy with an old guy disease who’s living in his brother's house so he can be taken care of. Like an old guy. 

Getting out of my bed I walk over to the dresser. I pull out a simple black turtleneck and jeans, change into that, slip on a pair of leather gloves and a leather jacket. Of course I add a white scarf to that, it matches and it’s cold outside-

Going downstairs, my little brother, Ludwig, is waiting by the door with his keys. “Took you long enough old man.” He said in an irritated tone, walking out the door “I’m not old!” I yell after him as I run out the door, shutting it behind me and running out behind him. He usually drives me to my appointments, just to make sure that I get there. Mostly because a few times in the beginning I blew my appointments off and went to a party. That usually ended up in flames and I would be back in the emergency room. So now Ludwig just takes me out of habit. After four years, he’s still afraid that I’ll run off. But as we’re cruising down the street, I notice we don’t slow down when we’re approaching the hospital, and then we drive right past it. I look over at Ludwig, who has a small smile on his face. He then chuckled and speaks, “Don’t vorry. The doctor had to reschedule so I’m taking you somwhere special.” Hey, that’s more my style! Now I’m excited! “Vhere vhere vhere?!” I pester him, poking his arm. But he refuses to say, and we just keep on driving. 

Soon we arrive upon something more rustic, a road that moved into the forest. I’m not sure where we are or where we’re going, but something seems strange. Taking me into the forest this early in the day? What, is he going to shoot me? Then I see a sign, and it’s not for any German town, more or less in… “VHY ARE VE IN AUSTRIA?!” I yell, hitting Ludwig in the arm. I try to unlock the door to get out, even if he’s still going at least sixty five, but he locks the door again every time I unlock it. That means I’m stuck in this stupid car in stupid Austria! 

After another hour or so driving around in the forest we emerge onto an open road again, in front of a large mansion. This place looks oddly familiar to me, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. There’s such a beautiful garden behind it, filled with all sorts of flowers, and sitting out on the patio, a book in one hand, a cup of tea in the other, was a man I hadn’t seen in ages. “I’m not going.” I say quickly, crossing my arms. Ludwig groans. “I refuse. You can’t make me.” I won’t get out of this car if it’s a life and death situation. Was this the special surprise? Making me go see that stupid girl? It’s been ten years, why would I ever want to go and see her? But a few seconds later, I feel a pair of hands grab me under the arms, and pull me out of the car. I struggle and yell, trying to get out of my brother’s grasp. But I’m not as strong as I used to be nowadays. So I have to give up, my lungs hurt, and I need to catch my breath. So I stand on my own two feet and walk alongside Ludwig into the garden, and the two of us walk up to the man on the patio.”Hallo, Roderich.” I grumble to him, and he looks up at me. He raises a brow and looks at Ludwig, then back to me. “Hello, Gilbert, a pleasure to see you out of the house for once.” Roderich responds, setting his book down and standing up, bowing lightly to be formal. I groan and wave him off. I’ve never been formal, and he damn well knows that. I’m about to throw an insult as I hear clicking on the pave. What are those women’s shoes? I look over quickly to see the source of this noise, and I’m greeted by a poofy light green dress, an apron overtop, and a flower in her hair. She looks… disgusting! And what even are those laced up boots?! But I walk over anyways and scoff. “You look terrible in that! Vhat happened to your cargo pants and button up?!” I ask with an irritated tone. “The combat boots would make this look better!” But she puts her hands on her hips and scoffs. Why is she doing that? I didn’t say anything I normally wouldn’t! She shouldn’t be offended!

But I think she is, because she gets up in my face and glares at me. “Oh, are you getting wrinkly? That’s too bad, soon enough you’ll be in a nursing home, grandpa!” And then she went back to her little stick up stance, smiled, and walked over to Roderich. “More tea?” She asked, and picked up his cup. She got a nod in response, then walked inside, swaying her hips. She’s never done that before. What’s this man done to my guy friend? So I follow after her, wanting to seek the answer. “Why are you following me, Gilbert?” She asks me with an angry tone. 

I shake my head furiously and lean against the counter. What is she so upset for? She’s never this upset with me! Except for that one time I pushed her as a joke and she fell out the tree and broke her arm. She was pissed then. “Vhat? I’m not allowed to ask for an apology? You left vhithout saying a sing! Vhy did you leave? Vhat did I do?” I ask, though maybe I’ve asked too much of her right now. But she just sighs and fills up the cup with steaming tea, her face now soft. Oh she looks so vulnerable when she’s sad, I hate it. She’s always been such a tough girl, trying to fight me. But I suppose we were much younger back then, huh? She was, what? Just turned twenty, and I was twenty-four. The two of us wrestling in the woods before she fell back and hit her head. She got mad at me, saying that I touched her breasts or something like that, but I pleaded that it was an accident. She didn’t believe me, and she ran off. The next day she didn’t show up, and after a week I got concerned, and when I went to find her, her house was for sale and her neighbors said a man had showed up, asking for her hand in marriage. Roderich, to be exact. And then she was gone. 

“Gilbert.” I’m broken from my thoughts by the sound of her voice. It rings in my ears as I watch her, my brows furrowed. “You don’t have to act like everything is different. Roderich just helped me finally figure out my purpose. To be a woman who serves her husband well, without complaints and fights. I do whatever he wishes and keep him happy. Sometimes he treats me to nice things, takes me to dinner and such, plays me a song on the piano. It’s just my way of living now. You shouldn’t have to worry for me.” But that’s the problem. This isn’t who she is. Hell, she spent most of her life thinking she was a boy! And now to see her in a dress, flowers in his hair, and worst of all those _shoes_. I want her to look like she always used to. Manly, strong. Now she just looks weak.. and small.. I hate that more than the shoes on her feet. 

I hear footsteps behind us, spinning around to see Ludwig and Roderich walking inside. Elizabeta quickly handed her husband his cup of tea and then looked back to me. She had a smile on her face now, which seemed strange. Why would she be smiling like that if she wanted to cry? I’ve always been good at reading her emotions. Once the other two were gone she grabbed my hand and took me outside, sitting down on a bench. I followed after her, of course, nervously sitting down. I opened my mouth to speak but she put her hand up, as if to tell me to shut up. But at this point, she was probably too lady-like to do that, huh? That’s just what happens when girls marry snotty rich guys, they get all stuck up or they get all sad. And she’s sad I can tell for sure. She was my best friend from the time I was seven to the time I was twenty five, and that was enough. I just wanted to be her best friend forever, now I just want her to accept my proposal of friendship. Once again I open my mouth to speak, but then I feel a pair of lips quickly connect with mine. How thrilling. 

The two of us continued to sit there, making out and laughing. Of course Elizabeta pulled away and shook her head. “We can’t be doing this in the open, but there isn’t anywhere we could go..” she said quietly. An idea popped into my head and I smirked. “I’ll come get you in my pickup truck tonight then.” I whispered back, standing up and putting my hands on my hips. “Just be ready! Cause I might just vant o fight you like ve used to do!” I Yelled as the other two walked out. Elizabeta just rolled her eyes and pretended like she didn’t care as she stood up and walked back to her husband. Ludwig was holding a bag full of.. well I don’t know I wasn’t there for the transaction. Of course he ushered me back out of the yard. “Come on now Gil, it’s time for your medications so we have to get home.” I could see the shock on Elizabeta’s face at the word “medications”, but all I did was wave and went to get into the passenger side of the car. Ludwig looked over at me, probably surprised at how much I was smiling. Of course I didn’t give him anymore than a small smile because I fell asleep in the car. 

I woke up once we got home, and decided that was the end of my nap. And so it was time for me to get ready. Ludwig told me he had some business to attend to tonight and wouldn’t be home, but I of course told him I could take care of myself. The moment the door shut I ran upstairs and grabbed a duffle bag, filling it with pillows and then took them downstairs. Making sure Ludwig was gone I went outside and put the bag of pillows in the backseat of my truck. It had been a bit since I last drove it, a couple days, but mostly because I hadn’t been feeling well enough to go out anywhere. Going back inside I started to bring down a bunch of blankets, and put them in my truck too. I still had quite a few hours before I had to go so I got into my truck, turning it on and going down the road. 

My final destination was a grocery store. I needed to get _something_ for dinner, right? Well I’m picking her up far after dinner time but it would hurt to have food and some wine. And the only thing I’m allowed to make living with my brother is sandwiches. So honey glazed ham sandwiches it is!

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

My heart is racing as I’m driving through the wood trail. My truck was probably a dead giveaway that I was coming towards Elizabeta and Roderich’s home. But once I arrive, I see her standing there outside, a jacket on over a pair of jeans and a baggy t-shirt. She looks good like that. And her hair is in a lazy low ponytail as well, which flows behind her as she walks up to my truck. I quickly unlock the door and she climbs inside, looking at me. “It’s ok, I slipped some sleeping meds into his bedtime tea!” She giggled out, shutting the door and putting on her seat belt. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. She did that just for me? God I love her so much. She turns me on with her little tricks. So I step on the gas, speeding down the road. She laughs and holds onto the door handle, looking over at me with a bright smile. It warms my heart, and I can’t seem to keep my eyes off of her. Soon we’re back into a wooded area, and she points to an off-road trail. “Up there! Go up the hill we can stop at the top and watch the stars!” She tells me, and I do as told, making a sharp turn onto the road that makes another laugh escape her lips. 

The drive isn’t too long, thankfully my truck has four wheel drive, and we reach the top of the hill. I park my truck on a flat spot and the two of us get out. Of course I get out all of the pillows and blankets, and start setting them up. Elizabeta looks at me and chuckles. “You brought all this? For me?” I looked up to answer as she picked up the bottle of wine, then the basket of sandwiches I made earlier. “This is so adorable, Gil!” She said with a cheery tone, watching as I finish making a comfy area in the bed of my truck. She climbs up and sits down, unwrapping the saran wrap from around a sandwich and taking a bite. This is it. My chance to get back the girl I lost all those years ago. My movements are quick as I sat down next to her. But it doesn't take wine for the tensions to rise, as she set the sandwich back into the basket and got closer. Oh god I can already feel myself getting horny, why does she have to tease me like this? I'm done, life is worth taking chances and I don't have very much longer to live anyways, so I roughly press my lips to her's. She immediately kisses back and almost instantly we’re ripping off each other’s clothes, hungry for the feeling of each other’s bare skin. Once my shirt is off she stops, staring at the large scar on my chest, and at all the other small ones from various surgeries over the years. Why does she have to stare? I can’t stand that. Maybe I should just put my shirt back on and forget about—-

But to my surprise something soft touches my skin, and I look down to see Elizabeta kissing my scars, one by one. God she’s such a wonderful woman, how could I have ever let her leave me? Her hips fit in my hand so perfectly as she grinds against me, and then I feel her hands start to unbutton my jeans, and everything goes a bit blurry in my brain…

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Waking up has always been some sort of a struggle for me. I’m back home, lying in my bed. My eyelids feel heavier than usual, as I stayed up quite a bit later than I usually do. But it was very much worth it. Just remembering the sight of her body turns me on. But now isn’t the time to get stiff! It’s time to get up, have a cup of coffee, and make waffles! I just have to get this mask off of my face and get out of bed at some point. I guess that’s another sort of sign that I’m getting old, I have to use a machine at night so I don’t quit breathing and suffocate. But then again I feel incredibly restricted with this stupid thing on my face, so I’ve got to get it off. I quickly reach up and take off the mask, sitting up so I can put it down in it’s cleaning box, you know so there isn’t mold and it’s clean for when I use it tonight. 

Last night had surely been something. I remember sex, a lot of it actually, having a few drinks of wine, a sandwich, and then returning Elizabeta back to her house. Then I drove home, only to be scolded by Ludwig for staying out so late at night. I came home around three in the morning so he had every reason to be upset with me. But it’s my life, I’m a grown man, and I can stay out as late as I please! Especially when it comes to Elizabeta. I wonder how she’s doing this fine morning? Probably better than me, because god my chest hurts! Maybe I went past my limit, lost a lot of air I couldn’t regain. But hey, if I need to I can go to the doctor. I am finding it a little hard to breathe at the moment though..

“Guten morgen, brudder.” Ludwig said in his usual gruff morning tone, looking up at me as I walked into the kitchen. He’s probably still upset with me for staying out late. “So, I suppose you went out drinking again?” Ludwig said with a sigh, shaking his head. Is that all he thinks I do? Drink? I also still smoke, despite how shit my lungs are, but somehow he can’t seem to figure that out. Of course it is my priority to answer him as his big brother. “Actually, I had a date..” I mutter, noticing Ludwig’s eyes go wide. I can tell he’s shocked, though I couldn’t give less of a shit what he thinks as long as he has no idea who it was with. Though maybe I surprised him too much. He’s not talking. Sure he doesn’t talk much anyways but he’s standing there in weird shock. What an uncool little brother. Can’t even handle how awesome his big brother is. “I have an appointment later so pick your jaw up off the floor and get ready to leave.” I tell him as I grab an apple and walk back upstairs. I’m feeling a bit.. giddy? Like my chest is filled with birds. I don’t mean butterflies, I mean birds. Why? Because my heartbeat is so fucking hard and weird that it feels like birds are fluttering their wings roughly inside of my rib cage. Oh dear lord I’m getting dizzy, what’s this feeling? Oh, I know, I can’t breathe again. My knees are too weak to keep walking to my room, and I can feel them give out beneath me, gasping for breath one last time as everything goes dark and my eyes shut…

It’s bright. Too bright. What the hell is this? Am I dead? How did I manage to get into heaven? I guess I shouldn’t question that. But as it turns out, I’m just in the hospital, a mask over my mouth and nose to help me breath better or something. I remember what happened but for the fun of being old. _What the fuck happened?_ I passed out, did much happen after that? Probably not. An ambulance ride and probably something else. Maybe a ct scan or an ultrasound but that could all be being held back until I’m awake. And wow, I’m awake now. Looking around the room I see three people sitting on the couch by the window. The first one is of course Ludwig, waiting patiently. The second is Roderich, I didn’t expect him to be here but he’s reading a book. And the third is Elizabeta. She noticed that I’m awake and immediately jumps up, running over, her dress flowing behind her. It’s a beautiful dress but it looks horrible on her body. 

“Gilbert! Are you ok?! Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?! You scared the shit outta me!” Elizabeta asked me with a fearful tone. I never expected for her to be so concerned for my health, considering she used to beat me up so much. But hey, maybe that one night stand did something for us, changed our perspective of one another! I bet we could once again be best friends and put that whole thing behind us! “Guys, can we have a moment of privacy? I really need to speak with him..” What? I watch as Ludwig and Roderich exchange looks of confusion, yet they still nod and make their departures. What could she possibly need to kick them out for, they can probably still here us through the walls. “Gilbert, we have made a _horrible_ mistake.. it appears we’re both too reckless to be near each other. Doesn’t that remind you of such a simpler time?” I want to ask what she’s getting at here, but the moment I open my mouth I'm silenced. “Gil, this May be goodbye for us. Roderich will be very angry with me once he finds out about what we’ve done.. I’m very sorry for causing such trouble..”

Her eyes are filled with tears, why is she so upset? All we did was have a little fun, is that so horrible to have done? I once again open my mouth to ask her what the matter is, but of course she stops me. So I settle for raising my brow and giving her a “tired of her shit” look. A tear rolls down her cheek and she picks up my hand. “I’m afraid I might be pregnant, Gil.. that’s why I say we’re reckless! We didn’t take any precautions! How stupid was I, to have done that?” She put a hand on her forehead before wiping away a few of her tears. Well this was unexpected for sure. I never thought about a condom did I? I just kinda assumed she was on birth control or something, but then again, I doubt she and Roderich ever have sex anyways. She probably doesn’t think there'd be much reason for birth control. But maybe this is all a bit of misunderstand info! I know a thing or two about girls!

“Maybe..” I let out a short dry cough. “Maybe it’s just you being afraid? I mean, it’s not like you were ovulating..?” She nods and bites her lip. “Oh god dammit we are just unlucky people, aren’t we?” I run a hand through my hair weakly. What can we do? I can only think of one thing. “There’s only two solutions to this. Or, three? One, abort mission. Two, just straight up tell him! Three, get him to have sex with you and then pretend it’s his? Condom broke or some shit I dunno..” I would have added in some more suggestions if the door hadn’t opened at that point and Roderich had walked in. He told Elizabeta that it was time to go and then left again. “Just, take a test to confirm? Can’t _actually_ end up having his kid..” Elizabeta chuckled sadly and leaned down to give me a hug, then ran after her husband. God I hate that man. 

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

It took a couple of days, but I’m finally released. I haven’t heard from Elizabeta since the first day, and I just hope that she’s alright, considering. Anyways, I’m finally gonna be able to sleep in my own bed, eat whatever I want, have a smoke. Ludwig is driving me home, as usual, although he looks a bit on edge. Did Elizabeta tell I’m about our little one nighter? Did he get fired? Did he find all of my porn mags I hid in my mattress? It could be anything, and frankly, I don’t want to know. He just looks sad and upset. If we didn’t just get home, I would have asked him what the matter was. 

Ludwig quickly got out of the car, motioning for me to follow. And so I do, slowly getting out of the car, and using the car as a support. Ludwig seems to notice how weak I am right now, and he rushes to my side, putting an arm around me. The two of us walk up to the front door, and Ludwig unlocks it. The lock clicks, and the door opens,

“Surprise!” I hear loud yelling as a group of people on the couch jump up, and one of them runs over to see me. My little cousin, Manon. Well I’ll be damned, I never thought she would come to see me! She looks so grown up, a haircut and all! And my oldest cousin, Holland, he still looks like an asshole. Henri, my youngest cousin, he’s already getting up to come and see me. That’s nice! And of course Roderich is here, but where’s Elizabeta? She should be here too, she’s married to Roderich so she’s part of the family! I look around, but she’s nowhere to be seen, and there isn’t a trace of her here. 

“Gil! Your favourite cousin in the whole wide world has come to see you! Oh and these other idiots.” Manon says with a big smirk on her face, giving me a hug. Henri gives the back of her head a smack as he joins in on the hug with his older sister. I see Holland staring at us, and I put out a hand for him to shake. He shakes it and then goes back to his seat. “Gil, we’re all very glad to be seeing you! And you can be sure you’ll be seeing so much more of us! We want every moment to be special!” Manon said as she pulled away, patting my shoulder. That’s when Holland smacks her on the head, shushing her. But it’s far too late, because now I’m confused? Why would they visit more often? Well that is very obvious, it’s because I’m dying. I must be for this whole get together to be going on! And so I push away from everyone, seeing their surprised faces. 

“I don’t need your pity! I’m going to die, so what?! Everyone dies, I’m just doing it a little earlier than usual! Big deal! Mein Gott!” I yell, charging through the living room and into the back yard. Though I collapse onto the porch swing the moment I get out there, lacking enough air to keep going. How could they do this? Could have said, ‘hey you’re dying, that’s ok though, cause we’re going to treat you like a normal human instead of making a huge deal out of every last moment!’ I want to have a normal family that just, lets me die in peace. I hear footsteps behind me and look over my shoulder. It’s nobody I expected, a.k.a Roderich. He walks over and sits down by me. We don’t look at each other, cause ew. 

I’m about to speak when a sigh escapes his lips. “We’re getting a divorce.” He says simply, looking over at me. “She told me what the two of you did, I’m not angry with you. At least not as angry as I should be. I don’t blame you fully though. I blame all three of us. For you it’s that stupid horniness of yours that got you into muddy water. For her it’s her energy, her want for more than she has. And for me it was not giving her everything she needed, and treating her with more respect.” Well that was unexpected. I didn’t realize he would blame himself for something like this. And I sure as hell didn’t know that Elizabeta would tell him. “And if it helps any, she was the one who wanted a divorce, not I.” Ok that wasn’t much of a surprise, but where was she going to go? There wasn’t another place for her, and she doesn’t have a home to live in. She was going to be homeless. And what if..? 

I look over at Roderich and he lets out a small snicker. But he also nods, seeing my concerned expression. “Oh but of course, that part of it. Yes, I’m afraid she is with a child. And I believe, your’s, was it? But it’s her choice to leave during such a hard time for her.” Roderich said with a small frown. I can see it in his eyes, he’s upset. He’s broken hearted. And it’s pretty much my fault. Well, she came onto me first, but that isn’t the point. And so, I think it’s time I did something I never thought I would. I hugged my brother. And what’s funny, is he hugged me back. This is a good feeling, and I’m never going to do this again…

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Things have only seemed to be getting worse for me. I can hardly leave the house anymore. The only thing I do is go to the hospital, otherwise I stay in the living room. We even moved my machines down there and I just sleep on the couch. The problem is, with every passing day, I can feel myself slipping further. The pain increases, and I can’t stop coughing. I’m cold and then I’m shaking out of control. But it’s not even how quickly I’m dying that’s bothering me the most. It’s the fact I haven’t seen Elizabeta in a couple of months. I think it’s been at least three now. Ludwig helped her move out, but that was a couple of months ago, and he said she was doing pretty good all on her own. I just wish I could see her again, witness all of the ups and downs. 

As I’m sitting on the couch, still shaking from the chills, the front door opens. Ludwig walks in, looking down at me and leans against the couch. “Are you hungry yet?” He asks, but I’m not. So I shake my head no. Ludwig sighs and then walks off, looking back. “Too bad, I got you something at the store.” He said, and then, there was the sound of boots clicking on the floor. I spin around and my eyes are wide. What a slick man! 

I get up out of my blanket burrito, though I still look like a sick man. I’m wearing a baggy white shirt and flannel pants. My head spins as I stand up, and Elizabeta runs over to help me sit down. “Don’t over work yourself, you’re very very sick! Sit down!” But I can’t hide the smile anymore, and I think it makes her laugh, laugh at how big my grin is as I stare at her. I hope she can tell just how happy I am to be sitting here with her. She picks up my hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited. Things have been crazy! I’m getting settled into my new home, getting a good job! It’s all so stressful!” She says and leans her head on my shoulder. 

I softly put my shaking hand on her back and play with her long hair. “Stress isn’t good for you! I mean, it’s not that you’re weak! You’re just! Pregnant! And from what I’ve read, stress isn’t good for you people!” I say in a frightened sort of tone, but she just laughs some more and nods. I know she doesn’t mean to make me worry and all, but she does. I don’t want to lose the last piece of me that’ll be left in this world. I want to live on through her. 

I jump slightly as she moves my hand forward, putting the palm of it on her stomach. I just realized the bump in her shirt, it isn’t all that big, but it’s there for sure. Though I’m not feeling anything. She must see my confusion cause she shakes her head. “Yeah, nothing yet, but soon! I’m only eighteen weeks after all!” Wait, how long is that? That’s.. four months? Has it really been that long since we last saw each other?! “But you’ll be the first person to know when it finally happens, Gil.” I look back up at Elizabeta, her emerald eyes softly watching my shaky movements. “I promise you that.” Well that makes me feel ten times better. 

Ludwig makes us lunch as we talk, though at one point she leaves pretty quick after asking where the bathroom is. She’s probably throwing up or something. I dunno, it’s been like five minutes and she isn’t back yet. I’ve resorted to watching TV, back in my blanket burrito. This is the best position to be in while slowly dying from a lung disease. Ah yes, this is the best life I could have ever asked for. When the bathroom door opens, Elizabeta walks back over to the couch and sits down. I then finally check out what she’s wearing. God how could I have not seen this sooner? A tight button up shirt, it hardly fits on her with that bump, and a little skirt. Also some slim high heels. Nope. I will NOT stand for her wearing this. 

“LUDWIG GET IN HERE I NEED YOUR HELP!” I yell, causing Elizabeta to jump. Ludwig walks into the room and glares at me, and I of course glare back. “I need help to get upstairs. I need to grab something. Before you ask it is _very_ important.” Ludwig rolls his eyes and walks over, helping me up from my spot. Elizabeta goes to stand up but I stop her. “Stay. I’ll return shortly, you’ll thank me.” I see her nose scrunch up at that statement, but I’m telling the truth. 

Once upstairs, I go into my room and open my closet. I’ve got some boring comfy clothes in here, I don’t think I’ll wear them anytime soon anyways, not with my condition. Now what to dress her in..? She’d look good in this, a nice baggy shirt for her! And then, what to do for pants? I’m not leaving her in that stupid little skirt. Ah, some older sweatpants. They’re a bit small on me, they’ll probably fit her, and she can tie them if they aren’t small enough. I think that settles it, though.. yeah fuck it, my eighty-six euro slippers, she deserves them more than me. I look back at Ludwig and he smiles, but he also shakes his head. He helps me out of my room and then back downstairs, where I throw the clothes into Elizabeta’s lap. “I’m going to guess that you haven’t bought any new clothes since you moved out of Roderich’s place. Keep these, I don’t need them.” Her face lights up and a smile spreads on her lips. She stands up and quickly goes off to the bathroom. Hopefully to change and not to be sick. 

Another few minutes pass before Elizabeta returns. She has a much more comfortable look, and her old clothes are resting over her arm. I tell her she can just throw them into the chair, then put my arms out. She chuckled and set the clothes down, sitting down with me. I put one of my blankets over her lap and then pulled her close. This is kinda nice! I could get used to something like this! But I know I can’t let myself get attached. I won’t be around for too much longer, so I hope she doesn’t get attached either. That wouldn’t be too good of a thing, now would it? 

Lunch is soon finished, and Ludwig brings us each a plate, covered in plenty of good things. The thing is, just as I had said before, I’m not all that hungry. Food isn’t something I’m interested in lately, but when Elizabeta sees me push my plate to the side, she frowns. “Hey, Gil, you have to eat. I know you may not feel well, and you just don’t feel like you can do it. But trust me, you can. Plus, you need your strength! You’re gonna beat this stupid illness and then come help me out! We’ll be a happy family, huh?!” I suppose she’s right. But it’s still there, lingering in the back of my mind. This voice. It’s saying, _’What’s the point? You’ll be dead in a matter of weeks, you’ll never meet your future child, and you won’t ever recover from this. There’s not a strong enough cure yet.’_ and I’m starting to believe it. But then, there she is, sitting in front of me with this look of concern in her eyes. And I want to get better, just for her. Even if I know it’s impossible, I can still try, right?

“God, I seriously don’t deserve you. Ya know that, Eliza? Huh?” I say and stick my tongue out at her before starting to eat. It may not be a lot, but it will count for something. “You better eat too! You need more strength than me! You ain’t no proper lady anymore, and I’m going to fight you again someday!” Ok maybe I won’t do that. I’m far too weak, and she’s gonna be taking care of a baby, but hey, maybe someday, like I said. It can be possible if we just put our minds to it sometimes. 

Things seem to be going pretty well. Elizabeta seems so happy and carefree around me, and she puts her hair into this messy low ponytail like she used to when we were younger. We talk and talk for hours, telling each other how we were for the past few years, about my condition, every little thing that comes to mind. Honestly, she’s a good listener. But then, her phone starts to ring. She reaches over and picks it up from her pile of clothes, sighing as she answers the call. I wonder who this could be? By her expression, most likely Roderich. The conversation doesn’t last long, and it ends with, ‘I’ll be there later then, I’m busy!’ As she hangs up angrily. My first instinct is to ask her if everything is ok, but she answers my question before I can even ask it. That’s some black magic shit right there. “God, going through a divorce is so freaking tough! There’s always some kind of paper to be signing, some sort of court date to set! I’m getting sick of it..” Elizabeta’s expression turned sour. I can tell she’s upset. That she wants to run away from all of her problems and start over somewhere new. But she can’t. She’s trapped here. But at least I have her. And hey, soon I’ll have a tiny me! She seems to notice my wandering eyes, though they don’t land on her breasts, they land on her belly. She chuckles softly and puts my hand on the small bump. There’s still nothing going on in there, and I feel a bit awkward with Ludwig in the next room, but it’s my baby too so I should be able to try and have the first feel of it! But as she said it won’t be for another couple of weeks until I can feel something happening in there. Come on, I might not last much longer, do something baby! But alas, the words I say in my brain don’t affect the outside world. 

The day passes by pretty well, and eventually, Elizabeta falls asleep at around seven thirty. Ludwig finishes off the dishes and then offers me the opportunity to leave the house and take her home. I of course agree to go and get into Ludwig’s car, and hold onto Elizabeta the whole drive back to her house. 

She lives in Germany again, around half an hour away. It’s a nice little neighborhood, but she wakes up around ten minutes before we get there. I’m alerted to this by a groan escaping her lips as she puts a hand on her belly, looking up to the front seat at Ludwig. “Oh dear god, I’m not feeling very well, could we please pull over?” She asked in a shaky tone, and Ludwig immediately pulled off to the side of the road, letting Elizabeta out. We sit there for around five minutes, just listening to her wretch and gag, and every so often hear a splatter on the concrete of the pavement and the crinkle of the leaves on the bush. She gets back in once she’s finished and I ask her if she’s ok before pulling her into a hug. She chills out and stays awake until we reach her house, and she kisses my cheek as she gets out of the car. I move into the front seat and yawn, getting comfortable. 

“Don’t you fall asleep now, you can’t sleep without the machines you know.” Ludwig told me as we drove back. The sun was almost down and the street was getting dark, so he had his headlights on. I am very tired as today has been very draining, but I need to stay awake. Keep my eyes open until I get home. I look at my brother and he sighs. “Gilbert, you really shouldn’t get attached. And you shouldn’t let her get attached to you either. It’s not likely you’ll even live to see her give birth, or go visit _her_ in the hospital. You won’t last the next couple of months even, you won’t even know when she goes into labor or the birthday of your kid.” He doesn’t need to remind me, but he’s doing so anyways. I don’t want to remember this. I want to believe that I’m going to see it even though I know that I won’t. “Don’t pout, just take it. Accept that this is your fate. It’s going to be tough, but it’ll all be ok.” 

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Today, I assume, is going to be a good day. Elizabeta has a doctors appointment and then she’s going to come over to see me. I can’t go to her appointment, as my condition is still worsening, but we agreed that I be there. You may be asking, how? It’s called the magic of technology, facetime. I’m pretty excited, being able to experience this head on. One of her friends is accompanying her, to hold the camera, someone she met in college that she recently got back together with. I couldn’t stop talking about it during dinner last night, and I think I pissed Ludwig off with how much I spoke about it. But I could see it in his eyes, that he was sort of happy for me. And I’m very excited. I get to see my baby today, for the first time I can see my baby! It’s incredibly exciting! 

The wait is living hell, but when I finally get the call, I immediately accept. I see a smiling Elizabeta on the other end with her friend. She gives a small wave and chuckles. “Gil, you’re smiling more than I’ve seen you in a long time! How are you feeling?” She asked and moved her hair off of her shoulder. I just gave a small shrug. “Like shit.” I responded with a smirk. She laughed a bit and nodded, handing her phone to her friend as the doctor walked in. He notices this and smiles. “Who is this on the other end?” He asked her. “Oh, it’s the father! He couldn’t be here today, he’s pretty sick!” She responded. I just rolled my eyes and gave him a small dry cough. He nodded and started with the process. First he had her lay down on the table, and rolled up her shirt. Though I’m a bit distracted watching this and don’t notice Ludwig walk in, he dies clear his throat to get my attention. 

Without looking up from my phone I ask him what he wants. He walks over and sits by me, looking over my shoulder at the screen. It was obvious he was interested in this as well, so I got closer to him so that he could see better. He of course looked away for a moment. “Dude, it’s ok to look.” I told him and he glared at me for a moment, then peeled back at the screen. At this point the machine was on and the screen had lit up. They were running the weird thing across her belly, and there was a loud sound that almost sounded like a pump. And I could see it. This little thing there in black and white on the screen. I look up at Ludwig and he has a small smile on his face due to my expression, I assume. I let out a few shaking breaths before tears sting in my eyes. I never thought I would make it to this day. Wiping my eyes, I feel Ludwig pat my shoulder. 

After Elizabeta gets all cleaned up, she takes her phone back and laughs. “Gilbert! Are you crying?!” She asked and I shook my head, wiping my eyes. I hated her to see me cry but damn, this felt like the best moment of my life so far! I can feel a pain in my chest and wince. Ludwig quickly reaches over to start setting up my oxygen mask, YT I look over and tell him off. I don’t want her to see me struggling, because that would be a bit awkward. “Hey, are you ok?” She asked from the other end. I give a quick nod before breaking out in a coughing fit. I put up my hand and gave a small wave. “Have to go!” I wheeze out quickly and hang up. 

It’s only a couple of seconds before Ludwig slips on my oxygen mask, helping me lay down. He waits a few seconds for me to stop coughing to stand up from his spot. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, as he let it do its own thing today, unlike usual. He just put his hands on his hips and looked as though he was about to say something! But he didn’t. He just walked off to the kitchen, most likely to get a drink. I know he hates taking care of me, but he’s the only good family member I have left. Dad died years ago now, Roderich probably hates me, and the cousins all have their own amazing lives. They don’t need to be disrupted by my sickness. So I guess it’s nap time, and I close my eyes to slowly doze off. 

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

I wake up to talking. It sounds like talking between two females. I open my eyes slowly, only to see the usual caramel hair sitting on the end of the couch, talking to my cousin, Manon, is sitting in the armchair with Holland sitting in the arm of it. I quickly try to sit up, but get very light headed. Henri and Holland rush over to help me, slowly helping me sit up. Elizabeta notices and slowly comes over, sitting down by my side on the floor. 

“Hey! I decided to drop by and make sure you were feeling ok, of course your strange cousins crashed the party.” She joked as Manon chuckled and stuck her tongue out. She then snapped her fingers and Holland walked over, picking up a little plastic container. She smiled wide and chuckled. “I made you some waffles, neef!” She exclaimed and then stood up. She waddled her little chubby body over and gave me a small hug as Holland handed me the container. I carefully took off my oxygen mask and turned off the machine, thanking her. I always did enjoy her cooking, she was really good at it. She runs her own little waffle shop, though it’s incredibly popular. She then went back to her seat.

I'm happy to have so many people I care about here right now. I make sure to give everyone equal attention, but it was obvious I paid the most to Elizabeta. The group was currently talking, though I was falling asleep, when Elizabeta stopped in the middle of her sentence. Manon tilted her head and frowned. “Is everything all right?” She asked as Elizabeta placed a hand on her belly, running her hand over it a few times. Suddenly, her emerald eyes lit up, and she reached over, grabbing my hand. “Oh my god the baby kicked.” She said and quickly put his hand in her belly as well. I perked up, suddenly not all that tired, and waited for something, anything. And once I felt it,a little colour returned to my face, and a smile as well. I was quick to wave over Manon and Holland, and of course the blonde got up as quick as she could and walked over to try and get a feel of the action as well. Holland politely declined, though. Manon put her hand on the little bump as well, waiting for something. It took a moment or two, but finally, she felt a tiny little thump, and she let out a small squeal. 

“Oh my goodness! Oh, it’s moving around! Gilbert, you feel that right?!” Manon seems just as excited as I am, and I nod quickly, though that makes a small pain appear. I just try to shake it off and run my hand over her bump a few times. Manon soon gets up and walks over to Holland to tell him all about it, and then Ludwig walks in. Manon lights up and drags him over to Elizabeta and I. “Luddy, Luddy! You’ve got to feel this! The baby kicked!” She exclaimed, sitting Ludwig down and put his hand on Elizabeta’s belly. He of course looked a bit uncomfortable, but his eyes went a bit wide when she moved his hand to the right spot. He smiles a bit and looks up at me, giving a small nod before he gets up. 

“Manon, Holland, will you two be staying for dinner?” Ludwig asked. But Holland shook his head and explained that he was quite busy with a work friends tonight, and Manon told us she would love to, but there was a person who had ordered quite a few waffles for a staff meeting in the morning. I said my goodbyes and of course was almost suffocated by Manon’s hugs before the two of them finally left. 

Now finally it was just Elizabeta and I. Ludwig went back to the kitchen to make dinner, leaving it just the two of us in the living room. Eliza seems just as tired as me, and I can tell the two of us have had our fair share of human interaction for one day, and we just need to get some sleep. Though maybe we should stay awake for dinner. I wonder what Ludwig is making, though it’s usually a mystery. 

Once dinner is ready, Ludwig brings it out to the two of us. We both say our thanks, and look at the selection. Mashed potato and chicken pie. The good shit. I immediately dig in, despite my lack of hunger, and she starts eating as well. I hardly notice what’s on the TV as I’m still trying not to doze off, and all my attention is on eating. Though it would be nice to just fall asleep.. to just, let the fuzzy things in my brain overtake me, the pain in my chest, the dryness in my throat.. And so I do. 

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Waking up again, I’m no longer in the house. I’m somewhere very familiar. I’m home. Not Ludwig’s house, _home_. I walk up to the front door and it opens. Inside is exactly the same. The furniture, the paintings. There’s a fire crackling in the big stone fireplace, just like it did every winter. Vati had always insisted on it, and made Ludwig and I go out to get the wood. That’s when I realize. I can breath again. It doesn’t feel painful, I’m not shaking, and there’s no more nausea like before. A smile curves onto my lips as I walk up the stairs, looking at all of the photos lining the walls. The same ones that had always been there. I know this can’t be real, because Vati died a long time ago in the military. And someone new had moved in here. So this has to be a dream. It just has to. But still I can’t help but enter what used to be my room, before I moved out. All of my heavy metal posters littered the ceiling, the walls. My big bed with the dark sheets and all of my stuffed animals. Vati always wanted me to get rid of them, but I put up such a fight to keep them. And then, looking out into the backyard, catching me eye, was a scene I had seen all too many times. But I’m not ready for that. No.. I don’t want to face it. I don’t want to face _him_. 

My mind is racing. This isn’t a Dream is it? I’ve never had a dream so perfect before! So accurate to what it was like to be living here as a teenager! Tears sting at my eyes as I slowly walk down the stairs. 

_I’m not ready.._

There’s no turning back now, I’m down the stairs. And my feet won’t stop moving, no matter what my brain tries to do to them. They move like they have a mind of their own. My eyes wander around as I enter the kitchen, seeing it as clean as ever. Vati always loved to clean with me, I think that’s the one thing he liked about me..

My hand reaches for the knob and finally, I gain back control. What am I doing? How many times do I have to say it? When will so many be enough?!

**I’m not ready!**

But even so, my hand grasps the knob, and slowly I turn it, looking out into the backyard. It’s brighter than the front years, somehow, and once again, my legs move without the command to do so. What’s this feeling..? I want to cry and scream.. It must be the fact that after all of these years, there he is, standing in front of me, sitting on a big stump he always used for a chair. I can feel tears starting to fall from my eyes, and trail down my cheeks. My legs move themselves forward, and like he knew I would be here, he stood up. He’s always been taller than me, I guess death didn’t change much. 

“Gilbert.” He said in his deep rough voice, just as he always had. He always said my name the same way. “You’re finally home. I’ve been waiting, you know. Months, and those months felt like years. I mean, I know this is hard for you and all, but believe it or not, I’ve missed you.” I quickly run over and wrap my arms around him, starting to sob. 

“Vati!” I cry out. I can’t believe it’s him. “I’m sorry I’ve made you wait! I was trying to fight it! I wanted to live! I wanted to meet my baby! I wanted to be there to help out Eliza, with all of her problems! But I couldn’t do it! I couldn’t stay, I knew I couldn’t but I didn’t want to believe it!” Vati’s hand went through my hair as he returned the hug. I know he isn’t one for affection, but I can’t help it. I’ve missed him so. This is real, I know it is. “Please don’t leave me…” I choke out. Vati chuckles, and then pulls away, putting his arm around me with a big smile. 

We start to walk inside and he opens the door. “Well then, why don’t we go inside and make some dinner, huh?” And with that, I realize that this is how everything ends between me, and the living world. And you know what? I think this will be nice.. 

**_**End Of Part One…** _ **


End file.
